


Defend Your Every Breath

by Mandalorianmedjai



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Civil War (Marvel), baths, extreme affection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 02:51:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6886360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mandalorianmedjai/pseuds/Mandalorianmedjai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky emerge from the final battle beaten, bloody, but not broken. After all, they have each other. At last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Defend Your Every Breath

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning im real shit at fluff, smut is my strong suit tbh. But I tried and therefore no one should criticize me. Bonus smut at the end so i could feel good abt myself again.
> 
> Give Bucky all the affection 2k16.

Steve remembered what it was like being pulled from the river back in D.C. Well, really, he didn’t remember at all. He was solidly unconscious at the time, but over the years he had managed to construct what it must have felt like. Sinking deep, deeper, crushing and oppressive weight building over him. The water was cold and infinite as it swallowed him...then the sting of ice as metal gripped his shoulder and the world rushed back and the sky appeared and above him was Bucky, below him, the earth. 

And this, he imagined, was what it must have felt like for Bucky. Steve was struggling through the snow, dragging the beaten body of his friend on his own weary legs. Bucky was limp and heavy and all deadweight. It wasn’t a burden he hadn’t carried before. But this was Bucky. Nothing had ever mattered so much. The weight of the world dragged him down. 

As they emerged from the Soviet bunker, Steve glanced up at a streak of black against the snow coming towards them. “Captain-” T’challa greeted them, worry marking his face as he saw the state of them.

“Go, start the jet. I’ll be there in a second,” Steve called out before everything else to him disappeared. “Bucky.” Steve collapsed in the snow where Bucky was already on his knees. He held his beaten bloody face gently in his careful hands, a plea for Bucky to look at him. “Bucky…” Silence. Bucky’s eyes were glassy and his head lolled on his shoulders as Steve held him. Steve’s throat closed like he was being strangled. Softer now, “You don’t have to say anything just...are you with me Buck?” he choked desperately. Steve looked into Bucky’s eyes and his heart stilled as to his relief they were eyes he recognized. And eyes that recognized him. Slowly Bucky nodded in response. 

All at once the world came back to him. 

“Let’s get you out of here.” He hauled Bucky the rest of the way towards the thrumming plane in the distance. 

T’challa was in the pilot’s chair. “Let’s go,” Steve nodded to him and they immediately lifted off. 

_ At last, at last, at last, he’s safe.  _ For the first time in days Steve felt he could take a full breath of air. But that didn’t last long. He collapsed to the ground, taking Bucky into his arms. And as much as Steve wanted to he couldn’t protect Bucky from what happened next. He felt Bucky suck in a strained breath and tense against him. And that’s when Steve saw him, Zemo grinning viciously at them from one of the seats of the plane. 

Bucky broke. He roared and ripped himself free from Steve’s embrace, lunging at the villain. He didn’t get far as Steve tackled him to the ground but Bucky writhed and struggled and screamed like he’d die if he didn’t get his clawing hand around Zemo’s neck. 

“Bucky! Bucky stop!” Steve shouted over him. “You’ve got no fight left! You’re gonna hurt yourself more than you hurt him okay.” Weather it was Steve’s words or fatigue Bucky began to calm down, his thrashing limbs settled. “I won’t let you do that,” Steve breathed. Bucky stilled. Steve felt him give up, like all the hope left his body at once, and Steve swore he felt Bucky sob, just once, and then the fight was over. 

He heard a thwack and saw Zemo’s body go limp. T’challa was standing over them. Now that Steve could get a better look he saw that Zemo was restrained and now, thankfully, unconscious. “I am taking us to a safe place,” T’challa offered and Steve also slowly started to relax. He let go of Bucky’s limp form and his heart broke when Bucky didn’t move but continued to lay there helplessly, as if he’d given up control of his body, nothing left to fight for.

“Thanks,” Steve said, starting to sit up. Steve asked no further questions. T’challa left them and returned to the cockpit. 

“Hey,” Steve offered gently to Bucky, pulling softly at his shoulder, trying to get him to respond. Bucky groaned weakly and Steve thought he heard him say something, but whatever it was he didn’t repeat it. Steve dragged Bucky to lay against him, his upper body across Steve’s lap, arms wrapped around him this time to comfort, not to restrain. He’s pretty sure if he hadn’t forced Bucky into his lap he would have laid there on the plane floor cold and alone, like he had for much of his life. That thought made Steve cradle his Bucky that much tighter. 

He felt Bucky’s breathing, sharp and shallow as it was, even out and his remaining hand came up to tighten around Steve’s forearm. 

He heard it again, a soft whisper this time, strained but full of purpose. “What’s that Buck?” Steve said leaning down towards him.

“‘Till the end of the line.”

\----

Steve was pretty sure Bucky had fallen asleep in his arms by the time they made it to T’Challa’s secure location. He felt bad waking him. He needed rest. But tending his wounds were obviously top priority. “Buck...we’re here buddy,” he said, nudging him gently. Slowly Bucky stirred. 

Bucky had regained a little strength after resting for a bit. He still leaned on Steve for support, but he wasn't as heavy, showing he had gotten a little strength back in his limbs. But that fact didn't make Steve’s heart break any less. He heard Bucky practically wheezing, breathing heavy and it made him try just a little harder, push just a little more to get him to T’Challa’s med staff quickly.

Soon the doctors were swarming around them. Steve refused to let them treat him anywhere he couldn't keep an eye on Bucky. He practically had to scream over the chatter and the fussing to get through the noise. “I’m not leaving him. I'm staying right here.” Bucky looked at him across the sea of strangers with tears in his eyes. Steve felt like he was barely holding himself together without Bucky in his arms.

It took several hours to be released by the medical staff. T’Challa greeted them to inform them that Zemo was being taken care of. Steve sensed Bucky tense and reached an arm out, his hand was instantly met with Bucky’s and he squeezed his fingers.  _ I’m here _ . 

“I think we’d both like to get cleaned up, T’challa, if that’s ok.”

T’Challa nodded and led them through his impressive compound, the both of them gazing about them in awe as T’Challa gave them a brief tour that ended at a bathroom which is where he left them. Steve wrapped up talking too T’Challa as Bucky slipped inside. 

As T’Challa left them Steve hurried in after Bucky, and closed the space between them completely, like he couldn't breathe without Bucky pressed against him. 

“How’s a bath sound, Buck, hm?”

He felt Bucky chuckle gently against him and Steve’s heart fluttered as he imagine the grin on his face. “Nice,” Bucky said into Steve’s shoulder where his head rested. He rubbed Bucky’s back and held him just a little longer.

“Alright,” he sighed, and it was almost physically painful to rip himself away. “I’ll leave you to that then,” he smiled shyly at Bucky and turned to go.

But he stopped. Bucky’s hand caught his arm. 

“Don’t,” Bucky said softly behind him. “You don’t have to go.” He sounded painfully sad and Steve’s heart  _ ached. _ But with joy or with sadness he couldn’t quite tell. Maybe both all at once. 

“Alright.” Joy won out for just a moment as Steven turned to Bucky and a smile broke from his lips. It was as gentle and sweet and reassuring as he could manage while it wasn’t quite under his control. 

Steve turned the tap and the bathtub filled quickly. Bucky began to peel off his clothes, starting with his pants (they were easy enough to get off with one hand) and Steve tried his best not to stare. He failed. Bucky looked at him confused and Steve panicked for a bit thinking he might have been drooling. “You gonna join me, Steve, or just stare at me?” he quipped.

Steve struggled to recover. “Oh, yeah, sorry...I just...want to make sure you’re okay.” 

“Yeah well,” Bucky sighed as he stared down at his still-clothed torso, “I’ve been better. Can you help me with this?” Steve couldn’t stop a smile at the thought that Bucky had just taken on Iron Man and yet here he was, defeated by a shirt. 

“Sure thing.” He crossed the room and helped Bucky struggle out of the last remaining fabric. 

By the time he pulled the shirt over his head Bucky was blushing. “Thanks…” and he turned away quickly to test the water. Steve undressed quickly and stepped up beside Bucky, unable to resist laying a hand across Bucky’s lower back, spreading his fingers across warm, bare skin. Steve was relieved when Bucky wasn’t the first to move. Steve climbed over the side and let the warm water wash over his body and  _ fuck  _ nothing had ever felt so good in his life. Then he looked up at Bucky and yeah, he wouldn’t trade this for the world. Bucky slowly eased himself in and settled down in front of Steve, relaxing against him and a deep sigh struggling from his lungs. 

Steve’s arms instinctively closed around Bucky’s chest and he felt him relax a little bit further. Steve settled his chin to rest over Bucky’s shoulder and they just sat there for a long time, soaking in this moment, breathing it in, absorbing each other. Finally, finally they felt like they had all the time in the world. Their eyes fell comfortably closed. Steve’s breathing was even against Bucky’s back, but his palms pressed to Bucky’s chest revealed  that Bucky was far from relaxed. The unsettlingly rapid pace of Bucky’s heart persisted and Steve’s eyebrows knit. He pressed his hands harder against Bucky’s chest as if he could slow the beating of his heart with his own hand. 

“It’s over,” Steve assured him. “It’s over, Bucky.” He sunk deeper into Bucky, as if they could fuse together, meld somehow and Steve could take on all of Bucky’s pain.

“Promise me,” Bucky demanded feebly. 

Steve sucked in a breath and sighed it out slowly. Bucky was begging him to lie. Because it wasn’t over, no matter how bad they wanted it to be. It was just the life they lived, no matter how bad Steve wanted so much better for Bucky. “That’s a promise I can’t keep,” he admitted, regret weighing heavy on his words.

“I know...say it anyway.” Bucky was staring off in the distance, and Steve couldn’t see his eyes. Bucky was still, his voice emotionless, he felt cold in Steve’s arms despite the warm water surrounding them and shared body heat. 

“I promise it’s over,” Steve breathed gently into Bucky’s shoulder, though his throat clenched around the lie. Miraculously, Bucky’s heart rate began to even out. “You’re safe with me, okay?” And Steve was almost okay with telling a lie if the result would comfort him.

Bucky settled back further against him, water shifting and licking at their skin. “I know,” Bucky grit out through his teeth and his felt inaccessible, miles away despite them being skin to skin. Bucky was lying. And now they were even. 

\----

They soaked for a good long while, enjoying the warmth and the intimacy until the water grew unbearably cold. They hardly said a word to each other in that time but that was ok. Sometimes they didn’t need words to communicate perfectly. 

After they emerged from the bathroom, they found T’Challa in the main sitting room discussing Zemo’s delivery into custody with some of his staff. When he saw Steve and Bucky he dismissed his staff and greeted them warmly. “Come, sit. You are welcome here,” T’Challa assured them and they had no reason to doubt. Steve led the way as Bucky followed somewhat timidly behind him. Steve sat on the couch, Bucky was in favor of the floor and Steve quirked an eyebrow at him but didn’t question. The carpet that covered the floor did look comfortable, he supposed. 

T’Challa poured them some tea from a carafe that was already waiting on the table before them. Steve and T’Challa talked about their next move, exhausting as it was fresh out of a fight, it was necessary. Bucky for the most part sat in silence. Steve was watching him every second. He drank a few sips of tea then placed it on the table not to touch it again. He mostly stared into space, every once in a while glancing up, or offering his input on the subject. But even that was only ever a few words. As the night dragged on, Steve found his hand had made its way to Bucky’s hair. He was almost mesmerized by the soft, long locks as he stroked his hand through them gently. Steve was about to take his hand away fearing he had invaded Bucky’s personal space, but the endearment of Bucky leaning into the press of his palm reassured him that this was not overstepping any boundaries. Bucky sank deeper and deeper down against the couch, relaxation taking him inch by inch until his head rested back on the seat, Steve’s hand still in his hair, eyes fallen gently closed.

“You two will need a place to sleep,” T’Challa concluded their conversation, practically reading Steve’s mind. “I offer you my guest rooms.”

“I can’t thank you enough for this, your highness.”

“That’s not necessary. The thanks or the formality. Above all I am your friend, Steve.” T’challa’s eyes were soft and honest and Steve melted under their gaze. He smiled warmly at his newfound friend, hoping that alone was thanks enough.

For the second time that day Steve forced himself to wake a peacefully sleeping Bucky.  _ This poor guy just can’t catch a break _ , he thought to himself.  _ But soon he will _ , imagining the lavish luxury of the guests rooms that were sure to match the rest of T’Challa’s palace. 

He woke Bucky gently, stirring him from his shallow sleep and they both followed T’Challa to where they would be staying. He showed them two rooms, beside each other in the hall. Once he got them oriented, he promised they could call him for anything, and wished them a good night. Steve couldn’t find the words to express his gratitude. 

When he turned back to Bucky, he was standing stiff before the door, staring as if he’d never worked a door before, unsure what to do. Steve could practically see him thinking and over-thinking everything. Steve knew he just needed to get to bed. He wouldn’t let Bucky do this to himself. 

“C’mon Buck,” he said gently. He took his hand and led him through.

The room was silent, stiller than the rest of the palace. Bucky was like a black hole, a void. Steve could see he was thinking, trying for something, his eyes were expressive but he didn’t speak, as if the words were caught somewhere between his heart and his throat. 

“Bucky. It’s okay to tell me what you want,” Steve tried. The last thing he wanted was to push him, but he could see Bucky was struggling with something, an internal battle now that the real one was over. 

Bucky’s jaw clicked a few times, his eyes shifting and finally falling on Steve, brutally straightforward and honest as he finally found the words. “I haven’t wanted anything in so long, Steve…” He was surprisingly steadfast, and sure, steady, though his words rocked Steve to his core. And then he pleaded, “Tell me what  _ you  _ want. Please.”

Steve had not been ready for that. And yet the answer came easier to him than anything, like second nature. The honesty of this one truth thrumming in his veins soothed the lies he had to tell. “I have what I’ve always wanted.” He saw Bucky’s face fall with realization, lips parted, eyes wide. But it didn’t feel quite right not to say it. “It’s you, Buck.”

Before Steve had a chance to draw his next breath, Bucky had found his way back into Steve’s arms, their bodies falling together, fitting naturally, effortlessly, interlocking, inseparable. At last. 

Steve cradled Bucky in his arms and the only thing that could separate them was Bucky himself pulling away. But they crashed back together, fitting together in a new way as Bucky kissed Steve like he was drowning. Steve held Bucky impossible closer, holding his face in his hands and stroking his thumbs against his jaw gently. They kissed like they were fragile but they knew they wouldn’t break. Not now. Not ever. The kiss was a promise of that. 

\----

Steve woke early and easily as he always did. But this time was also deeply different. He woke with a warm, heavy weight in his arms, and a light, glowing heat in his chest. Both were because of Bucky. Steve smiled down at the still sleeping form curled up against him and his heart beat fast with the weight of what this mean. He didn’t fall back asleep, he never could quite do that, instead he stayed up and snuggled closer to Bucky and pulled the covers tighter around them and just lay with him. As he always wanted to do. 

When Bucky finally woke Steve greeted him with an uncontrollable, warm smile. His hand once again stroking Bucky’s long brown hair. “Hey,” Steve whispered in the little space between them. Bucky grinned back but hid his face shyly and sleepily and it was so cute Steve could hardly stand it. 

“I don’t think I’ve slept that well in decades, Stevie,” he purred contentedly, drowsiness slurring his speech.

“Well, you deserve a good rest, soldier.” Steve stroked his back and Bucky curled tighter against him, settling his head on his shoulder. They lay like that for a few moments, enjoying at last the peace they had found. “You want to get some breakfast?” Steve offered after a while. 

Bucky perked up. “Yeah...I don't think I should go out there like this though.” A shy grin curved his mouth and an adorable pink tint came to his cheeks. 

“What?” Steve was ignorant at first but as Bucky rolled his eyes and nudged Steve’s hips with his own his intention became obvious. “Oh...you wanna...take care of that yourself?” Steve struggled to fight back the blush now coloring his own face. 

“What do you think, big guy?” Bucky huffed out a laugh that made Steve’s head spin. Not that the breathless kisses Bucky smothered him with now were helping. Bucky wasted no time in thrusting against Steve’s warm body in a slow steady rhythm, slipping his tongue past lips and teeth, pulling an involuntary moan from Steve. 

Steve’s hands closed around Bucky’s hips, slipping softly past the waistband of Bucky’s pants and wrapping easily around his cock. Bucky’s hips stuttered then and he groaned hotly into their wet, open-mouthed kisses. “Steve…” he moaned, and Steve was sure that was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard. He’d imagined it so many times, but actually hearing it from Bucky’s lips...it was indescribable. He began to stroke Bucky’s cock in earnest, hoping to hear it again. “Oh, fuck,” Bucky breathed his eyes rolling back and his eyelids fluttering. Steve had never seen anything so fucking beautiful in his whole life. 

“Steve…” it was a warning this time as Steve’s hand, now slick with precome, stroked harder on Bucky’s throbbing cock. Bucky stopped thrusting his hips and gripped Steve’s arm, telling him to slow down. “I haven't felt so good in so long,” he huffed, his breath coming in ragged gasps. “I'm not gonna last…”

Steve’s heart fluttered, a sly grin lighting up his face. “That's the point.” And Steve didn’t stop. He stroked Bucky’s cock hard and fast, fingers slick wet, sliding smoothly over hot skin. With hooded eyes Steve watched the pleasure dance across Bucky’s face, wanting to commit every line and furrow, every upward twitch of his lips, to memory. Bucky’s moans grew loud and desperate, less controlled, just like his hips that thrust against Steve’s hand, trying for as much friction as possible. And just as he felt Bucky wind up and tense, Steve leaned down and kissed the corner of Bucky's parted lips as he came. 

A hot, broken cry was ripped from Bucky’s lungs and Steve swore he felt every muscle against him tense and relax in waves that coincided with the wet spurts of come he felt on his fingers.  “Fuck,” Bucky breathed and laughed against Steve, a wide, genuine grin splitting his face and lighting up Steve’s life. 

Steve gave Bucky’s cock one final squeeze which earned him a satisfied groan before withdrawing his hand and drawing Bucky closer in a full-armed hug. 

Bucky found Steve’s lips again and kissed him tender and sweet, slow, and it felt good to finally have the freedom to take their time. “Finally,” Bucky breathed into Steve’s lips, their mouths grinning reflections of each other. Relief washed over both of them now that years of whatever-this-is had at last became certain.

Steve laughed. “It only took us 70 years and several wars for us to get our shit together I guess.” He placed a chaste kiss to the crown of Bucky’s head.

“If that's what it took it was worth it.”

“You're damn right.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my bud Jo  
> ur the Bucky to my Stevie <3


End file.
